After reading chapter 7 & 8 of FAP by 107yearoldvirgin I wanted to make a post about how everyone NEEDS to be reading this story RTFN. I thought I'd post some visual teasers to prove my point and this lead me on an interesting journey.

Here is the beginning of the hotness from the chapter that lead me on said journey:

Edward swallowed loudly and I slipped a piece of gum into my mouth before I leaned down and reached for my purse, keeping my face hovering just above his thighs. I came back up triumphantly with my manicure set and some of my hand lotion.

"Seriously," he leaned closer, "what the fuck are you doing?"

I didn't answer. Instead I took his pocket in between my fingers and inserted a small hole in it with my nail scissors. One quick snip and a couple of pumps from my fingers and there was a hole big enough for my hand to fit through. He watched as I reached over for the lotion and slathered it onto my hands, making wet noises between my palms as I did so.

A quick glance at his crotch revealed that the noises were getting to him and I pressed my lips together to stifle a grin. "Looks like I used too much." My eyes fell to his lap. "I'd better not waste it…" Without another word, I pushed my hand into his inside out pocket and felt my fingers make contact with the warm flesh of his thigh.

Yes, I know this is going somewhere very hot, but trust me, you need to go read the rest for yourself.

Now for my own little journey: Can I find a picture to go with this little scene? After all, I run the PicTease site, so I should be able to find a picture. Sometimes that is harder than you think. As Edward says in "Twilight", "Google it." So, I did.

"hand in pocket"...nothing

"girls hand in guys pocket"...less than nothing

"hands under a table" gave me this...



which was cute, but not quite what I was looking for. I won't even show you what "handjob under table" gave me.

Then I thought, YouTube could help. Surely there is a movie out there where someone is getting a handjob under a table, and someone YouTube'd it.

Paydirt!!!

This isn't exactly how the scene in FAP plays out, but once I found this, I knew I had to post it. If you haven't seen Wedding Crashers you are missing out, and if you have, then you'll remember this hilarious scene.



Remember that one? I know...soooo funny. I may have to put that movie in the DVD soon. As we all know, once in YouTube land you get lost in the vortex. I had to watch a few other "related videos" which lead me to this funny gem. It wouldn't allow me to embed, but trust, Nicholas Sparks' "The Handjob" is hilarious, espcially if you've ever seen a Nicholas Sparks movie, or read one of his books. Remember, "The Notebook"? Love that movie. Well, this is nothing like that...LOL. Go watch!!!

Well, there you have it. You never know where reading FAP will lead you. Three things are for sure - smutty goodness, laughter, and great writing. It's only 8 chapters in, so get in on the goodness now and read FAP. I know you'll enjoy it.

Twilight is not my only love. I am a crazy TV watcher. I love American Idol. I have been really impressed this season with Jennifer and Steven. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about them on the show. I have always liked them, but I have to say, I like them even more now that I have watched them on the show.

One of the most moving things to me was when Chris Medina auditioned and brought in his fiance' and Steven Tyler bent down and hugged her and whispered into her ear. It was so heart-warming to me to see that, and I won't soon forget it.

So, the other night, Chris was let go on American Idol, and I was sad, because he is truly a man for others to look up to. If you don't know his story...two months before his wedding to his fiance', she was in a car crash leaving her partially paralyzed and with brain damage. Many men would have counted their blessings that they weren't married and responsible for her care, but Chris followed through with the words he would have spoken to her in two months, "in sickness and in health", and he has stuck by her and become a caregiver to her along with her parents.

Today I found an article and video that has me in tears and I needed to share it.

How did you and Juliana first meet and how soon did you know she was the one?

I met Juliana through a friend of hers. I was trying to date her best friend. I'd never met Juliana at the time, but I was in this small band, and I had invited her friend to come watch [us] play. I was hittin' on her, trying to make her laugh, [but] Juliana was the only one laughing at my jokes! I was going, "Who's this girl laughing at my jokes?" Something about her energy caught my eye, and I couldn't get her out of my head. I went back to college that night, [and] I was like, "Who is that wacky girl that I [can't] get out of my head?" After that, I started dating her. It was within the first three or four weeks that I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.



How does she continue to inspire you now?

She knows the impossible task that she has ahead of her. She knows that every day she wakes up, there's a new challenge that is so difficult that anyone else would give up. The fact that she gets up and toughs it out and tries to get better, it's an inspiration. It makes you not complain about the caramel that you don't get on your caramel macchiato. Or the fact that you got a flat tire. The trivial things in this world don't mean anything when you're faced with "I can't even hold a cup without [it being] completely difficult." It changes your whole life.



It puts things in perspective for a lot of us, and that's why so many people have been moved by your story and Juliana's. On a music-related note, you're working on a new tune with Rodney Jerkins. Can you tell us a little about that?

I would love to tell you a little about that, or a lot about it actually! It's called 'What Are Words.' It's a song about making promises and fulfilling them, about telling someone you love that you'll be there and having them be able to count on you because you said it. Because the words that you say really mean something. It's a powerful song. A [short] time after I had gone on the show, I got a call saying, "Rodney Jerkins wrote a song for you, and he wants you to come in and hear it." You know, I've always known who Rodney Jerkins was and that he's worked with some pretty big people, but I had no idea that he was THE man. Flattered is not even a good enough word. I was just 100-percent honored to be working with someone like him and that he gave me this opportunity.




Watch Chris Medina's 'What Are Words' Exclusive Video // Get the song on iTunes

What's in store for you, Chris? If you were to look at 2011, what are a couple of things that you hope to accomplish in the next year or so?

Well, one thing I wanna get past is 'The Jay Leno Show' tomorrow [Friday]. That's the biggest gig other than 'American Idol' that I've ever been a part of. I'm hoping to nail it. And after that, I just wanna write music, release it, make people happy -- just sing from my heart and do what I love.

You can read the whole article here

I hope we can all learn something from this man's integrity, love and spirit, and I wish him much success. Sometimes our dreams don't come quite like we thought they would.

Love to Chris Medina, Juliana, and both of their families.

Puddle Jumping

107yearoldvirgin

To know the ending, you must start at the beginning. I'm Isabella Marie Swan. Eighteen years old. Senior. Short in stature. Skinny fat. Brown hair and eyes. And this is my story. It's not your run of the mill fairy tale. ExB - AH - M

Yes

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When 107yearoldvirgin tells us in the summary that Puddle Jumping is not your run of the mill fairy tale, she is not lying. What she doesn’t tell us, is that it’s better than a fairy tale, because it’s such a breath of fresh air in a sea of fairy tales. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a fairy tale as much as the next girl. Bella being swept off her feet by her glorious perfect prince is fun to read. Puddle Jumping teaches us that sometimes your prince isn’t perfect, but he’s still your prince. Sometimes, you may not be a princess, but when you step into the kingdom of your flawed prince, it opens up a whole new world for you, a world meant for you too. And sometimes, your journey to love isn’t always you floating on a cloud, but more like you jumping through a lot of puddles, but in the end possibly incredibly worth it.

The story is told from Bella’s perspective as if she is talking to the reader. Bella is eighteen and upset because it seems that her story is not the hollywood fairy tale that we see in movies. She is going to share her story of how she is:

...not the kind of person to fall in love.

And neither is the guy I'm head over heels for.

So, she goes back to the beginning, when she first meets Edward. She is 10 and he is 9, and she is asked to babysit him. She agrees to babysit even though it seems weird to babysit someone just a year younger. But, in true canon Bella form. she gets in all kinds of precarious dangerous predicaments, in which Edward has to basically save her life more than once. Much to Esme’s chagrin, she stops allowing Bella to babysit for fear that she might end up actually dead.

Bella does not see Edward again until she is a junior in High School. She shares about her life during those seven years. She’s a typical teenage girl. This Bella is no holds barred with expressing how she feels to the reader.

You know that old saying, 'Everything happens for a reason and there's a reason for everything'? Well, sometimes I think that's a total crock of shit. Bad stuff happens to people all the time. People that don't deserve it. And sometimes, great things happen to awful people. Like, famous people who take life for granted and whatnot.

Sorry. Rant over.

I love this Bella and it’s perfect that she is talking to the reader. It made me feel like I was her friend, to whom she’s explaining what’s been going on in her life.. She tells it like it is, even when it’s hard. When Edward comes back into her life in her junior year, she learns that he has asperger’s. She doesn’t know what that is, but it is fairly obvious that there is something different about him, socially. She learns as much as she can from the internet, but in spite of the unknown, she is completely drawn to him.. While the story isn’t a lesson in asperger’s, it definitely gives you real insight into the struggles of someone living with asperger’s, as well as the beauty of someone who can see past the asperger’s and into the heart of soul of a man who wants desperately to be normal. Bella and Edward become best friends. Bella learns that Edward never forgot her from when they were kids, and it was the main reason he wanted to go to her high school.

As the story progresses, Edward struggles to assimilate socially, and Bella struggles with her growing feelings for Edward, knowing that he will never be able to express himself like a normal boyfriend. People with asperger’s usually excel in one area and are often highly intelligent, Edward thrives in the artistic field. His paintings are beautiful, and he introduces Bella to that world. While there may be some who don’t understand their relationship, we all know there are bullies in everyone’s world, Bella and Edward actually have a lot of support. Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett play roles, and Lauren is Bella’s best friend and is one of the best Lauren’s I’ve ever read. If you are one of the people who hated Renesmee in ”Breaking Dawn”, you will love how 107yearoldvirgin uses her in this story.

We are reading 107yearoldvirgin, so there will be citrusy goodness. It’s very fun, because they both have the normal teenage hormones, but they have to explore how to make it work with some of Edward’s touching issues. Here is one of my favorite parts:

I just sort of stepped forward and blinked up at him ... and asked him to kiss me.

That little half smile of his pulled up one side of his face and he met me halfway, dipping his face to mine to plant a kiss on my lips. Once. Twice. And the third time, I pulled in the back of his neck and opened my mouth to … ya know…slip him the tongue.

Oh my god. This is really embarrassing that I'm telling you this, but I've been upfront with you so far and it would be useless to stop now, so if you're uncomfy with me talking about this kind of shit, I'll warn you now to turn off your computer and go watch some Teen Mom or something...

Anyway, I got brave and slipped him the tongue. I was in the moment and wasn't thinking clearly, so it hadn't occurred to me that he might think it was gross or whatnot, but he'd pulled back a little and frowned, making me feel weird and self-conscious.

"I'm sorry. Was that gross?" I asked, wanting to melt into the floor and just die.

He'd shook his head slowly and then looked at me for a second. "Perhaps we could try this after you've brushed your teeth."

Yeah. He said it.

Now if he were any other guy, I would have probably punched him. Somewhere. Face. Arm. Nuts. But he was Edward and he was brutally honest about everything and he had no filter to stop it, so my only reaction was to laugh and step back, assuring him that I would brush my teeth next time.

No worries, they figure it all out and Bella ends up sneaking into Edward’s window many nights to fool around. If you don’t know much about asperger’s, much of their social issues is that they don’t have a filter, they say exactly what they are thinking, and in this instance I almost lost it, not to mention that it’s at the end of a chapter....thank goodness she posted the next chapter that same evening.

We were on our way to school, passing by one of the few side roads we'd claimed as our own when our need to be with one another was way too much to ignore, and Edward's hand was squeezing mine a little tighter than normal before I felt him shift in his seat and he spoke loudly into the quiet car interior.

"Bella, would you enjoy it if I used my tongue on you?"

Yes, I know! Be glad when you read it, you won’t have to wait a whole day for this:

The car fishtailed from my foot hitting the brake so hard and unexpectedly. I slammed into the steering wheel, hitting the shit out of my sore boobs and stared at him like Bambi watching his Mom getting killed.

"What?" I'm pretty sure that was my eloquent response....

I’ll let you read the rest for yourself.

The first chapter makes it clear that at some point their journey hits a pretty big puddle. Things get pretty dirty (angsty). But, the chapters are short and the angst doesn’t last long. I won’t tell you what causes the big shift, what makes Bella question whether she really can be with Edward, who will never be able to return her love the way she gives it, and how Edward fights his disorder to prove her wrong. You will have to read it for yourself. I beg you to read this story, 107yearoldvirgin writes this tale with pure beauty of the soul, the spunky spirit of a teenage girl, and the window to a simple love with a complicated path.

There is a part in the end that had me crying like a baby....tears of joy. When you get there tweet me at TwiSherry and I would love to talk with you about it. I could kiss 107yearoldvirgin for giving us this story....give yourself a gift today and go read Puddle Jumping.